DATE:June 28, 1978
LOCATION: Norman, OK
A man who gains pleasure by inserting things, as claimed by the narrator, 'where the sun don't shine', is sent to the hospital when a shampoo bottle is stuck inside his anus. His nurse mentioned that he 'slipped in the shower' for the third time in five months. However, the man still wanted to please himself. He walked over to a drawer and pulled out a thermometer. Deciding it wasn't enough, he taped nine together. Afterwards he begins to please himself. When the nurse returns, he jumps onto the bed, thermometers still inside him. At this point, they break, causing internal bleeding and mercury poisoning, which the narrator calls a 'double whammy'. Because of this, the man dies.
- Almost every time the man goes into hospital, he claims he slipped in the shower, much to the nurse's annoyance.